一早，Supin回了電話給我，我跟她說了present的事，問問她對trafficking的看法。檢察官出身的舒屏，講起她在台灣上課的印象，非法人口走私、販賣、人蛇集團在台灣屢見不顯，而之所以要規定一個"trafficking"，除了打擊犯罪外，更是著眼於被害人的保護，因為那些被trafficked的人（比如說：女性被運來台灣賣淫），很多情況是被騙來的，或被脅迫而來的，與我們傳統印象中，那些跨國界的賣淫女子應該被處罰、被遣送回去，是有差別的。而且，多一個trafficking的機制，並不與refugee制度衝突，所以應無必要abolish this term。
嗯！掛上電話，又多了幾分信心。洗臉刷牙後，繼續回到電腦前痛苦，修改半夜打的講稿。奇妙的是，這時候我好像不再焦慮了，即使想刻意焦慮，也焦慮不起來。
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我跑去圖書館（已經很久沒去了）想認真唸一下這禮拜要講的東西，才知道有什麼argument可以拿出來講。但是卻發現，我完全被我自己的焦慮淹沒！
雖然我知道，只有一天準備時間，prof.應該會降低標準，但是，對於人口交易、販賣、運輸、剝削的議題是一點也不懂，我是到了這一刻才開始看書，才開始去認識這一個嚴重的國際法犯罪行為；此外，也開始想像到底站在台前講英文會是什麼模樣...總之，越想越心慌越焦慮，書也只勉強看進一點點。除了焦慮，還是焦慮，一種心是「揪」在一起的感覺，很睏，但是睡不著，睡不好，我知道與其把時間花在焦慮擔心，不如就好好靜下來看書，但是...我真的做不到！一整個下午，在華麗的Langdell四樓，我努力對抗著那前所未有過的焦慮。
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真的要好好給我自己鼓勵嘉許一番！
話說，對於我那堂refugee的課，我是越來越逃避，上課開始不放名牌，眼睛視線也絕不跟prof.交會，目的就是要避免被點回答問題或comment；也開始蹺課，之前是心情不好蹺課，後來是為了寫paper而蹺課。而每個星期課程助理都會發信問有沒有人要volunteer做下一星期的presentation，我總是裝死，忽略所有關於做presentation的信件，雖然我知道class participation or discussion占學期成績的20%，但是，我不在乎成績，只要讓我過，我不在乎有沒有這20%。
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熬夜到凌晨四點，
寫完第四次的response，
這學期refugee那一堂的response requirement就算完成了！
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（來寫點校園學習生活的東西好了，表示我其實也是很認真唸書的..)
這學期選了三門課，上到目前為止都還滿喜歡的，而且學期進才行了三分之一，我已經覺得唸的書比去年一整個fall term都還要多！只不過，總是無法擺脫似懂非懂的感覺，英文...像是一道無法跨越的橫溝。
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This morning when I woke up, it was nearly 10:00!!! "I really overslept!" was the first sentence that came into my mind. Perhaps...it was also the first time that I was late to class due to oversleeping since I started to go to school at the age of 7. After all, I had my mothter or my roommates to wake me up before when I was in Taipei. But now, I only have myself, depending on the cellphone alarm.....
The winter term is really intensive and tiring....which makes me hardly breathe. Now, one day is like one week. We have to finish the reading in less than one day which we used to have a whole week to finish. So, a typical day is like this: get up, go to class, lunch, take a nap, study, dinner, study, sleep, then get up....
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Professor Shachar's "Citizenship and Globalization" also came to an end. We had a great feast in class, which I would say was the best free food ever since I arrived at Harvard.
Making a summation, Professor Shachar encouraged us to find our path for the future, to contribute ourselves to those in need, and to do something that can make our world a better place. (She may not have used such words but these are the main points she said to us.) She is a crazy passionate professor that I have ever met. No matter what we say, what our opinions are, and how we think, she always shows her highly interests and makes great compliments. Even if you think your idea is "no big deal," after talking to her, you will think that your idea is "a big deal."
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This is the last day of the course, Sex Equality.
It seems that it was until this week that I started to concentrate on the lecture and to get used to the rhythm of MacKinnon's speaking, and of course, started to understand "a little bit more" about what she is saying. But...now, the course finished. This feeling is strange. It's like, when you decide to focus on something, suddendly that thing just disappears!!
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Perhaps it was the aspiration to accumulate three times of speaking in class that urged me to raise my hand, I spoke for the second time in MacKinnon's Sex Equality.
My question was about the employer liability for other supervisors' sexual harassment. I was wondering if we can put employer liability under the context of "contract." For example, the employer has the obligation to provide a non-hostile environment for employees, so that when a sexual harassment occurs, the employer can be charged with breach of contract. Then, there is no need to use "vicarious liability" to hold the employer to be liable for sexual harassment in workplace.
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今天，是我上MacKinnon的課以來最想睡覺的一次。雖然前一天完全沒唸書，可是我一早還是很有活力的去上課，想說一定要努力試著聽懂，不過，最後實在敵不過睡意...完全放棄聽課...
偷偷觀察坐在旁邊的舒屏，覺得她上課越來越認真呢！雖然書也是會唸不完，可是她仍然會努力去聽，不像我...根本是放棄了，畢竟，MacKinnon的課不考試啊！
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Today, in Sex Equality, I raised my hand and asked a question regarding the Canadian decision, fulfilling the speaking requirement to pass this course.
I asked about the "multiculturalism" mentioned by Canadian Supreme Court. The question was mainly like this: can a person fight for equality by using "multiculturalism" under US Constitution?
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Supin、Yawen、CC、我四個人自己組了個讀書會，
Yawen想要的東西是，我們告訴她Shacher在Citizenship and Globalization講了什麼，
討論為什麼老師會選這些文章、資料，想要傳達的是什麼，
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